Art As Access

feast – days 16 – 23

ryl — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 20:55:25 +0000

It’s been a great week. I can feel the support of regular practice. I am happy to share that I sat each day for at least a few minutes. There was something freeing about it not having to be 40-minutes each day (especially on days when I did other soul supportive practices). Something too about getting to do it “my way” which is the way that works for me whatever that might be (even if it’s a 2-minute sit before a phone call with an empathy buddy).

It’s interesting that I didn’t get any 40-minute sits in at home. I needed it to be smaller chunks this week and was happy to sit longer with others at IMC – Insight Meditation Center this morning.

It feels like it’s been a process of trying to get through self-imposed ideas and expectations – it’s suppose to be 40-minues long, or 40-minutes is “better”, the morning time is better, soul nourishing “art-making” looks a certain way/is a certain process (collaging) and other ideas about “failing” and “succeeding” – if I haven’t sat everyday for 40-minutes then I failed.

I notice that I am still dealing with a part that wants things to be “unclear” or vague. I know I sat each day according to what I did manage to record and I’m not clear how long and when I sat each day. I seem to be not hitting the mark with my desire and intention to record things in a way that provides a real clear certainty about what’s so around the sitting practice. This is interesting to see and I will keep my intention for recording things and try some other strategies and see what happens. I am wondering if I have one place to write in, a sit journal, and if it’s at the sitting location and notes are recorded after sits if that will do it. I do sit in more any one place in my living space so maybe paper and pencil at each sitting location.

If I pause to check in with what’s so at this point in the feast. I have a regular sitting practice and it begins with connecting to the world field (everyone) and a specific community and my own body/mind/field. Self-Reiki is a part of it. I have painted with sumi ink in a way I enjoy and haven’t done so for years. I knit something new – a sphere and enjoyed the process. And yesterday I was hand-sewing a couple of little objects (again something I really enjoy and haven’t done for months or longer). Feels helpful to reflect on the first 23 days. Looking forward to the next 16.

Best wishes with your journey

-Ryl

feast – days 9 to 15

ryl — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 19:26:41 +0000

I have not been sitting each day as I had hoped to, intended to at the start of the feast. I was going to say “as I would like to” and I’m not so sure whether I want to sit each day. It’s confusing to say I what to and not do it. Or think I want it and not see it happening.

A couple of ideas come up. Perhaps sitting for 40-minutes is more than I want and need each day especially on days where I know I am spending time doing other things that nourish my soul. Secondly, I remember reading something Pema Chodren wrote about having a morning “routine” and having a short version and a long version.

So writing all that, I would like to start again and go into this week with the intention to create a short routine and a long routine and practice each morning with whichever version feels right for the day.

This week’s feasting intention/inquiry – how does it feel in my experience to start and end each day with some practice even if it’s 2 minutes?

It’s been a wonderful and nourishing week full of connection with my local NVC community. I spent Friday night and all day Saturday with them, connecting and practicing together. Then Sunday, I had a day with my Diamond Approach community and our shared spiritual development work and practices. Thursday night was an amazing 1.5 hour-long session with the Somatic Experiencing practitioner I have been working with. All very nourishing and supportive work.

I can feel a part of me saying “I spend so much time on nourishing and supporting myself spiritually, how can I be “wrong” for not sitting each day”. Interesting to see that there’s also a part of me saying “I’m wrong if I don’t do it the way I am suppose to (based on my goals/expectations or someone else’s)”.

Maybe the question shouldn’t be have I done my practices. Maybe a better question is “was my soul nourished today?” Although, I’m not sure if I would always know how to answer this question. Wondering if this is why I look to keeping track of practices rather than checking in with my soul to feel whats so.

So, I am taking another inquiry into this week “how do I know when my soul is nourished?”

Other thoughts and questions that come up are “what needs of mine am I trying to meet by the strategy of the feast?”
There’s the thought that I want to live a “spirit full” life, not to simply have a regular spiritual practice. I am reminded of a Buddhist story, something about needing a raft to get across the river and yet needing to put down the raft when you get to the other side. That sometimes we forget it’s not about riding on the raft and that the raft is meant to be a temporary tool”.

So there’s the thought/question “when will I know when I can let go of the raft (focus on practices) and focus more on being on the other side”. Great, questions for me to take into my next week.

Best wishes with your journey

-Ryl

feast – days seven & eight

ryl — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 18:33:26 +0000

day seven notes – I so enjoy weekends at home with “nothing” to do. It’s been rainy here this weekend and I found myself simply not wanting to go out and do much. I sat for 40 minutes when it worked in the flow of the day. I often find myself in tears during meditation. Happens more with longer sits than shorter ones. I think I get into a really open and relaxed place and willing to let something come to mind and be fully felt. I can feel a part of me that thinks this isn’t what meditation is about or for or that this isn’t suppose to be part of meditation. And another part that simply is willing to accept “healing/release” whenever it is available. I find myself surprised when it happens in meditation since it isn’t an intention I have for the sit. Grateful to be touched in a way that lets things release. I continue to enjoy the sense that my larger process with life is being fully supported by my practices.

I also had a chance to collage in the evening and enjoyed creating two collages. There’s something about the process of creating collages that I find really nourishing. Something lets go into the process and delights in the surprise of what comes together in the end as a new image.

day eight notes – triggered this afternoon and journaled in a free flow way to be with it and see whatever wanted to come, tears with some of it. Helped move some of the energy. Walked with it too in the misty rain.

Wondering where today went. I didn’t sit yet. Didn’t make art. This sad sense of the question – what did I do today? – nothing comes. I shopped at the thrift store and have a beautiful new pot for my orchid and a new teapot set with four small cups and a big blue baggy comfortable sweatshirt. Why is this “nothing”? What’s some part of me expecting the days to be filled with.

At what point does it matter not what the form is, whether it’s a sit or a walk or time spent looking at things and shopping or listening to others in the support group I attended tonight, or deep in the pain of the triggered experience, in the uncomfortableness of it, the familiarity of it, being with it and it naturally passes. How I can be deep in it one moment and then something shifts, turns, moves in some way and I talk about being in it rather than being in it, totally consumed by it, I find a truth in it, it isn’t about what I think it’s about and the strategy this hurting part is fixated on isn’t going to solve it, it’s not about x,y,z or my kids or my husband, it’s about me, about seeing and feeling this part, this pain and it’s frozen experience not yet fully seen, understood, digested, something still frozen and rigid, stuck and then it shifts and there a is lightness, a me seeing myself triggered, and I am talking about it not being it any longer and soon I find myself joking about x,y,z and the laughter supports more movement and then it is shared with my friend while carpooling to group, and it fades into the “nothingness” of today, and simply becomes one of the many experiences I had today.

nourishment

ryl — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 00:37:13 +0000

In celebration of the Winter Feast for the Soul – Jan. 15th – Feb. 23. This month’s inquiry is “what is your experience of nourishment?”

I continue to be amazed at how nourishing it is for me to make art, to let go into the unknown of the creative process, to be the hands moving things around, to be listening for the subtle inner guidance that offers a thought/creative impulse/possibility. There’s such a lightness for me with the process like I get to set something down, some part of me that knows, strives, tries to figure out, or understand. I let myself be in the flow and lightness of the mystery of how a few pieces of colored paper take on a whole new form. And express some of the beauty I sense that is inherent in life, in being fully alive and connected to the life force. I find myself being nourished by the creative process, by the contact with the life force and by the beautiful images.

Creative Inquiry

This month explore what nourishment means to you, what your experience of being nourished is, what practices you have to nourish yourself? You could sit quietly with these questions and see what comes up. You could journal with these questions as a starting pointing. You could choose to bring the exploration into your art-making process – collaging, painting or drawing in response to these questions and see what images come. However you choose to explore with this inquiry be curious and open to what shows up.

Creative Inspiration

I share my artwork here to inspire you to create your artwork. It is through your art-making that you will discover more about who you are.

photograph, 2011

You can click on an image to see a larger version within the online gallery.

If you would like to share about the inquiry, art-making or other things happening in life, please feel free to contact me. I welcome the connection with you.

Live in the remembrance that in all of time, there will only be one you. Your greatest gift to yourself and the world is the expression of your authentic self.

-Ryl

Who do you know that would benefit from reading this?

Please share it with them. Thanks

feast – days four, five & six

ryl — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 22:13:47 +0000

The days are starting to blur together and there’s a lack of clarity that I don’t enjoy. This happens with other things for me as well and I have a sense of wanting the details, wanting to keep track along the way and have a real sense of clarity. So, that said I will hold the intention to create an email draft message with notes for each day. May not post each day and yet things will be clear and recorded.

Feasting wise, I did paint the other day with my sons who are also feasting with me. Kids do 4 minutes and my youngest decided he wanted to do 4 minutes for 4 days (haven’t been consecutive days). It’s helpful to have their company with it and has me watercolor painting more which is something I enjoy. I really love the fluidity of painting with water and color and seeing how things flow into each other and mix on the page. It’s usually an exploration of circles and color with a real sense of play and curiosity. Not trying to make a “picture” of anything. More about the process than the product.

I sat for at least 20 minutes each day when I was planning to have time for art and/or journal writing as well. Have sat for 40 minutes a couple of times since the start of the feast and enjoy the longer sits.

Wed evening – day four, I got to sit with my Diamond Approach small group (about 12 of us) and experience the sense of a larger field and others’ presence. I enjoy sitting in groups.

A lot has been moving in my experience feeling uncomfortable things not yet fully “digested, made conscious, integrated, healed (which ever word works for you)”. What I have noticed though is a shift in terms of having more capacity to be with things as they come up, see them clearer, feel the feelings and then create new strategies. Am attributing some of this growing capacity to having more regular practice time. Am interested to see how things continue through the 40 days of the feast. Will keep you posted.

-Ryl

feast – days one, two, three

ryl — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 23:58:14 +0000

Day One – Sunday January 15th

It’s the end of day one and I have this sense of not making art today and I wanted to. Then realizing that I want to open my idea of “making art” since no I didn’t create a collage and yet I worked digitally to edit three photographs and put them online (http://gallery.artasaccess.com/photos/Images+2011/). So, yes I worked at creating beautiful images today which I enjoy and find really nourishing. On paper as collage or with a camera and digital editing – either way’s OK. Can I see it all as “art”?

I sat for 40-minutes this morning and was surprised how “easy” it was given that I usually sit for 20 minutes. I started with a few minutes “meditation” for the world (see Golden Thread Project – http://www.dergoldenefaden.info/proj_e.html) and ended with a few minutes of self Reiki. It felt really great and flowed. I was siting at home at the same time people were sitting at the Insight Meditation Center and I connected into that field with intention. I noticed how I enjoy sitting in the morning with the sunlight shining on me coming through a kitchen window. Adds a sense of “light” and lightness that feels true for me.

Having a sense for myself that some of the feast is going to be about connecting into larger fields and not feeling alone and isolated while I meditation or make art or live life as mindfully as I can.

Day Two, Monday January 16th

Being a full Monday of homeschool activities (yes it was officially a holiday here – Martin Luther King day and we had our regular play groups and classes anyway) made it more of a challenge to find time to practice. I ended up sitting for 40-minutes before crawling into bed. I found it interesting that I was not too tired and didn’t fall asleep during the sit. It was an enjoyable sit just like in the morning. There was a sense of “empowerment” over limiting beliefs that often come up when contemplating doing something. I am getting more and more that I don’t have to “believe” every thought I think. Sometimes I can simply try things newly with a beginner’s mind and have it be an inquiry and be open to seeing what unfolds.

Day Three, Tuesday January 17th

The days start to blur together for me . I sat in the morning for 20 minutes and then made art for another 20-minutes right afterwards. I especially enjoy it when I can make art after settling and connecting by sitting. I made two collages which are online at http://gallery.artasaccess.com/collages/collages2012/

I also found myself adding into my evening journaling a page about Acts of Kindness. I simply started writing down everything I did that day that felt like it might fit into that category. I ended up with 25 things on my list. It’s interesting what showed up on the list – listening to someone, looking at people on the street in a way that felt more connecting, sharing my joy about “home-made ice cream” with a friend, asking if a boy at hockey practice needed help, asking how my husband was feeling, being willing to stay open to a solution that would work for me and my son’s needs, and sending someone a birthday card are a few of the things. I think it helped that Sunday night I was really triggered by something someone in my friends circle posted to their wall in Facebook. It wasn’t fun being so triggered and feeling some really uncomfortable feelings and yet being exposed to the trigger helped me do more of my personal healing work and let go of some of my enemy images. It also helped me realize that kindness can be a way of being and not simply some acts and not others. Kind of like meditation can happen no matter what the activity is – sitting, walking, making art or washing dishes. Anyway, I really enjoyed journaling about Acts of Kindness.

How I’d like to Feast

ryl — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 00:04:56 +0000

I have been thinking about how I’d like to feast and what I would like from these 40 days of practice.

I miss a really great Yin yoga class I used to get to on Sunday afternoons and would like to go again sometime in the 40 days.

I miss sitting with other people and would like to reconnect with the Insight Meditation Center (very close to me in Redwood City) and attend a few Sunday morning or evening sits.

When I sit at home I would like to sit for 40-minutes. Usually, I sit for about 20-minutes. I’d like to see if it’s a much different experience for me.

With art I have been thinking about practicing to making art everyday. It’s been a really long time since I was collaging ever day. I remember it being a really powerful experience for me.

I have been studying Reiki and consider it a form of “prayer”. I don’t yet have a regular self-Reiki practice so am thinking I could bring this to the feast. Not sure what this might look like.

When I emailed out to everyone sharing about the feast, someone shared about a project called the Golden Thread, http://www.dergoldenefaden.info/proj_e.html, it’s a 3-minute meditation to do for the world. I don’t usually do practices like this and would like to bring this one into each of my days.

I feel myself drawn to the “acts of kindness” part of the feast and the truth is I’m not sure what this one would look like for me. So, I think I’d like to bring this one in as an inquiry. To ask myself each day, what might acts of kindness look like towards myself and others and then see what unfolds with it.

It’s so supportive for me to put things into writing (like the journaling part of the feast). Brings clarity, understanding and inspiration.

-Ryl

winter feast for the soul

ryl — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 04:09:16 +0000

I am participating in the “Winter Feast for the Soul“, a wonderful project bringing together a worldwide community of people committing to 40 minutes of spiritual practice (Meditation, Prayer, Yoga, Martial arts, Journaling, Expressive arts and Daily acts of kindness toward self and others) for 40 days – January 15 – February 23.

More details are on the project’s website at http://www.winterfeastforthesoul.com/.

I invite you to:

1) feast and join myself and a small group of other participants. We will be sharing our experiences via email over the 40 days to inspire and support each other. Email me if you would like to be part of this small support group.

2) participate in the project if you feel inspired to feast and practice (please let me know if you do)

3) share about the feast with others in your community who would enjoy hearing about this project

I am looking forward to the nourishment this feast will provide and sharing the experience of it with others. I will be posting updates regularly here.

Best wishes for a wonderful 2012.

Let me know if you would like to feast and have the support of a small group – ryl at artasaccess dot com.

Blessings

-Ryl

Happy New Year 2012

ryl — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 13:53:48 +0000

I wanted to connect again and send you best wishes for a wonderful 2012. May you have a joyous New Year!

I haven’t email an artasaccess update and inquiry in some time. I didn’t intend to take a long break and it happened as the months passed by.

I have been focusing my energies on my own deep inner healing – supporting my growing presence with my Diamond Approach studies, developing my ability to empathize with my many internal parts with my practice of Inner Empathy. Able now to empathize with others I share life with and am grateful for my Nonviolent Communication practice.

I am now a Reiki Master and enjoy working directly with “light and healing energy”. I have been studying and practicing Donna Eden’s energy medicine and find it brings a balance and groundedness to my body’s energies that is supportive. And I have been and continue to work through trauma, stuck energies that result from intense physical and emotional stress. Am grateful for the support I have with Somatic Experiencing.

I continue to make art and create collages as a process of moving meditation, as an inquiry into what might wish to be expressed in the moment and as an act of inner empathy and kindness towards myself.

There is a lightness to my experience now and it brings joy, peace, ease and a sense of flow.

Thanks for all you bring to the world in the many ways you touch others and create.

Blessings and best wishes on your journey as we begin 2012.

-Ryl

Best Wishes

ryl — Sun, 19 Dec 2010 15:42:55 +0000

Happy Holiday Season

I would like to wish you a joyful, connecting and nourishing Holiday Season and a Happy New Year!

May the light of your authentic self shine brighter in the world.

May you know a deep sense of inner peace.

May each day bring a newness, an aliveness and joy.

May your heart be full of love and radiate it into the world.

May you play, create and explore with a spontaneity.

May you be happy. May you know peace. May you be well.

May you live simply with ease and the lightness of Being.

Best wishes

-Ryl

111509
magazine images on paper,
2010, 11″ x 12″

112508
magazine images on paper, ink
2008, 12″ x 12″

112907-2
magazine images on paper,
2007, 12″ x 12″

You can click on an image to see a larger version within the online gallery.

I always welcome a connection with you. If you would like to share about the inquiry, art-making or other things happening in life, please feel free to contact me.

Live in the remembrance that in all of time, there will only be one you. Your greatest gift to yourself and the world is the expression of your authentic self.

-Ryl

Who do you know that would benefit from reading this?

Please share it with them. Thanks